19 April 2009

Reddit: yeah, I geddit

Reddit.com’s RSS feed (“what’s new online”) has been in my news reader for a while. As part of a cull of noisy, useless feeds, I’ve just deleted it. A more literate version of 4chan, with significantly less users, it produces the same results over and over. Here’s everything you need to know about Reddit users' worldview.

1. McDonald’s is bad.
In fact, all multinational corporations are bad, but McDonald’s is a regular cynosure. Its popularity may be more to do with displaced shame about having consumed so many of their products.

2. Religion is evil.
Especially Christianity. There is no God and anything involving nuns, exorcisms, priests, churches, signs outside churches, prayer, the Shroud of Turin, faith or the Pope must be mocked. Popular with recovering Catholics.

3. Marijuana should be legalised.
The short-term memory loss evident on the site demonstrates the necessity of the argument.

4. Holy shit! WTF?
Clicking through will inevitably lead you to: (a) a photograph of an obese person; (b) a video of an octopus; (c) a Japanese television commercial; or, (d) the next item on this list.

5. Cats are hilarious.
No, they are not. You're just stoned.

6. Movies with the word “Star” in the title are the most important cultural artefacts of the 20th century. Also, the 21st.
Grown men rationalise dressing up and playing with toys.

7. IE6 sucks.
Then stop using it, dumbass.

8. The Onion is amusing.
That’s why theonion.com exists.

9. Everyone on Fox News is a crypto-fascist.
Well, duh.

10. When all else fails, whine about the minutae of operating your computer, viz:

I HATE it when Windows pops up a notification on screen when I am typing away in another program. Usually it takes focus and my next keystroke is applied to the dialog box, without me realising what option I selected.
When I have to Click back twice when it should only be once I say F it and close the window.

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